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  • my BAC is higher than my GPA. fml

    November 10, 2009 | 3 Comments | Post Comment
    Score: +53 / -3

     

    • Anonymous 2:09 am on November 12, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      that’s not bad…that’s great

    • Anonymous 4:43 pm on November 12, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      then you must be DEAD

    • s 4:15 pm on November 17, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      youre either dead or you have close to a 0.0 GPA

  • I shaved off half my eyebrow while attempting to remedy my unibrow. So I shaved off half the other one to match. I look like a fucking demon. FML

    November 26, 2009 | 2 Comments | Post Comment
    Score: +48 / -1

     

  • Today I woke up and realized that I’m procrastinating away a $120,000 college education. FML.

    November 23, 2009 | 0 Comments | Post Comment
    Score: +53 / -6

     

  • My fraternity burned to the ground. FML.

    January 10, 2010 | 0 Comments | Post Comment
    Score: +47 / -2

     

  • We’re supposed to serve a turkey to our team in 30 minutes. The turkey is currently bleeding…FML

    November 19, 2009 | 0 Comments | Post Comment
    Score: +42 / -1

     

  • The people at my internship call me “the girl whose boyfriend doesn’t love her”

    November 28, 2009 | 0 Comments | Post Comment
    Score: +39 / -2

     

  • After hooking up, this guy asked me for a tissue. I handed it to him and he said “Thanks, but I think you need it more than I do”. I touched my back and felt cum all over it. I was super soaked. FML

    November 16, 2009 | 1 Comments | Post Comment
    Score: +38 / -2

     

    • Anonymous 10:39 pm on November 25, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      you couldn’t feel him cum on your back? were you blacked out? don’t get it….

  • I was watching a squash game where Harvard had zero points and yelled bagel because a zero looks like a bagel. Harvard construed it as an anti-Semitic slur and now President Kim had to apologize to the entire community. FML

    December 12, 2009 | 3 Comments | Post Comment
    Score: +37 / -2

     

  • Greenprint. FML

    December 2, 2009 | 0 Comments | Post Comment
    Score: +34 / -0

     

  • I was surfing the net while waiting for a porn website to load. I came across a cool site and decided to copy the URL into my Facebook status. I copied the porn site by accident. FML

    December 1, 2009 | 0 Comments | Post Comment
    Score: +34 / -1

     

  • I finally took the girl of my dreams to formal and ended up booting on her dress. I haven’t heard back from her since. FML

    November 26, 2009 | 0 Comments | Post Comment
    Score: +31 / -0

     

  • Today, I tried to explain pong to my high school friends. FML

    November 24, 2009 | 1 Comments | Post Comment
    Score: +33 / -2

     

    • d12 6:41 pm on December 15, 2009 Permalink | Reply

      It can be difficult. I usually bring some props along to explain.

  • Just heard my ex-gf having sex on the floor above me…with a girl..FML

    January 20, 2010 | 2 Comments | Post Comment
    Score: +30 / -1

     

    • anon 5:23 pm on January 31, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      How is this an FML? Unless you were the reason she turned gay.

    • . 9:08 pm on February 4, 2010 Permalink | Reply

      fap fap

  • Last night I heard my brother talk to his boyfriend on the phone. He said “Whoever said tis better to give than to receive never had anal sex before.” Worst image ever. FML

    December 12, 2009 | 0 Comments | Post Comment
    Score: +30 / -1

     

  • Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because “we go to Dartmouth.” FML

    December 6, 2009 | 0 Comments | Post Comment
    Score: +31 / -2

     

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